When You Become Homeless…Church Homeless, That Is

(for those of you who know my religious situation, I am not talking about my other denominational affiliations/connections. this post is only about Unitarian Universalism)

It happened so slowly I didn’t even recognize it.

First….the special Sundays–Blues Sunday and Gospel Sunday–went away. (Jazz Sunday is still around, but it moves around on the calendar so I never know when it’s going to happen)

Then….the voices/readings from the pulpit became whiter and whiter.

Then….when I did go, I was constantly mistaken for a long-time member of the staff. (I happen to love that staff member, but all Black women don’t look alike)

I went off to seminary. And things really changed; I’ve been in the pulpit there twice since 2010.

But because I was doing things on the national level, I didn’t notice how much distance there was between me and my “home” congregation. And since one of the other congregations in town invites me to preach, I didn’t notice how much my “home” congregation doesn’t.

Until I got an email…..

Kim, I hope this is the right address for you!! I have been thinking about you a lot in recent weeks, partly because I have benefited from your writings in “The Wednesday Word.” Additionally, in the otherwise well-planned and meaningful Maundy Thursday service that [x1] developed last year, there were no Words of Institution in the service. Although [x1] developed the service, [x2] led the communion service last year. When I asked them about the omission of the words of institution, neither was certain they knew what they were. I said I’d like to be responsible for that part of the service this year, and they agreed, although they may want to change what I wrote. I used a stripped-down quotation, leaving out (in the First Corinthians version) references to the Lord Jesus (just “Jesus”), and Paul’s words about proclaiming the Lord’s presence until he comes. In preparing what I thought should be included, I referred back to the lay-led service you and I did, together with others, in 2002.

The experiences (both of doing the service with you and preparing the communion portion of the Maundy Thursday service) were very meaningful for me. Other people from [congregation] have told me they thought you had given up on UUism, which wouldn’t surprise me, given all your wrestling with where you might serve as a minister after seminary that you and I discussed before you went to seminary……

I’ve been sitting with that since I received the email in March. All that I have done on the national level, and people from my “home” congregation think I have given up on UUism.

I’m homeless.

Thank God for BLUU and the UUCF. And Starr King (they let me claim them). These three have made my homelessness so much softer than it could have been. In that, I am extremely lucky.

But I do not like forsaking the assembly. And so I am in a bind.

Some of you have heard me say that I am an ecclesiology girl. I believe in the church. I love the church, notwithstanding all its flaws. And many days, I believe in Unitarian Universalism. Some days, I love it.  Yet, I am homeless.

I am reconciling myself to that within Unitarian Universalism. We’ll see how it goes.