Playing Mammie to Miss Scarlett (POC, White Fragility, and Unitarian Universalism)

I’m probably going to shock you with what I’m fixin’ to say.

My favorite movie is Gone With the Wind.

You must understand…I can deconstruct that movie backwards and forwards with the best of them. This does not change the fact that Gone With the Wind is my favorite movie.

What does this have to do with Unitarian Universalism? (I’m getting there, don’t rush me)

Bro. Jimmy wrote in Notes of a Native Son, “We have to make ourselves blank in order to wash away your guilt.”

Now…to Mammie and Miss Scarlett.

As a black woman, for most of my adult life there’s this character I have been expected to play. I am expected to play Mammie. By Mammie I mean that I am expected to take care of white people (Miss Scarlett) in any situation; especially if the situation involves black women and white women. And it is really present in liberal circles. This expectation is exacerbated by the fact that I am a fat black woman. I cannot speak for all black women [nor would I even if I could], but I think my experience mirrors that of a lot of black women.

Unitarian Universalism is on the precipice of having some difficult conversations. MAYBE. (the possibility/probability of y’all flaking out is real)

What I worry about is that you, my white liberal friends, are going to go Miss Scarlett in the extreme and expect people of color to play Mammie to you to our emotional and spiritual detriment.

White fragility is real. It has been showing itself in this current UUA kerfuffle. And all too often people of color have to “make ourselves blank” in order to alleviate white people’s fear.

So…here’s the question…what’s going to happen in Unitarian Universalism when people of color don’t play Mammie to white people’s Miss Scarlett?

 

 

 

 

*–if you are one of my white woman friends and you are worried that I’m talking about you, the fact that you are worried means that it’s not you. the women who have done, and will continue to do, this, aren’t even concerned. they will continue to be oblivious.