At Common Meal today a group of 5 of us sat together at what we dubbed “the cynical table.” We’re at different levels of cynical-ness…….P. is at the most cynical I have ever seen him. E. is trying to hold on for 6 more weeks (she moves in early June). AM. is deciding whether she will stay in Richmond or try to transfer somewhere else. C. just wants the semester to be over so she can concentrate on the baby. And then there’s me…….who worries about them all and still wonders why the hell am I here.
I am especially worried about E. (mainly because I want to mother her) It hurts me to see how some things are affecting her. She is such a bright light that it………..I can’t even put it into words. So I’m trying to find a way to be present for her.
Back to the cynical table……..it was very nice to let off some steam with people who weren’t going to judge. There was much laughter at our table, in between talking about interpretive dance, romance novels/sex/relationships, food services and a few other things.
While I will always continue to wonder why I’m here, I can never doubt that God brought these people in my life for a reason. They are helping me become more me and step out of my comfort zone (as some of you know my comfort zone is being the shy fat girl in the corner). I will be forever grateful to them (and love them) for that.